Saturday, January 01, 2011

Self-portrait as Tycho Brahe




*


"lotta ins, lotta outs, lotta what-have-yous floating around in old duder's head, man."



*



I read this book a million years ago called "Water Dancer" I think, by Jennifer Levin, about this girl long-distance swimmer, and her coach was called Tycho after Tycho Brahe, because, I think, he had his nose busted apart by an oar or something. Not cut off in a duel by a sword like the original guy.


Anyway. That book always stayed with me. Something about long distance swimming, the isolation and cold and difficulty of it. That and the lesbian sex. It kind of stirred me up at sixteen. But also the thing about Tycho Brahe.

About working your whole life on a thing and being all wrong about it, even though it wasn't really your fault. About working in isolation and quietness and fighting despair and being wounded. Being wet and cold and always going back into the cold dark water. Of your own volition. Or compulsion.

About losing everything and what that does to you.

As practice for the next time.


*


I love the dark night. The cold sea. The distant and pitiless stars.


The sound of the sea and of my own pulse in my ears.



*


There can be no escape for us.



*




Namaste.



***

13 Comments:

Blogger Ms. Moon said...

No. There can be no escape but there can surely be places of soulful redemption which is almost as good if not better.

5:52 PM  
Blogger tearful dishwasher said...

we carry our redemption with us, don't we.


did you bring a beer or what?

5:54 PM  
Blogger Ms. Moon said...

Hell yes. And some Puerto Rican eggnog. You ever had any of that? It has coconut milk and sweetened condensed milk too. Like tres leches cake in a glass with rum. My friend Denise brought me over a bottle tonight that she made.
Shove over. Hand me your glass.
Let's talk.

6:04 PM  
Blogger Angella Lister said...

You know what I most love about this? The eyes. And that you drew in on a star chart.

gosh, you are a poet. dark and broken and fearless.

this is a post i could come back to when i'm seeking fearless.

6:20 PM  
Blogger Elisabeth said...

No escape but into our imaginations, Dishwasher,which might also provide its own prison with no escape.

1:33 AM  
Blogger michelle said...

I would like to sit at the feet of you and Ms. Moon and just listen. (sorry for the spazzy grammar)

and have a beer

xo

3:56 AM  
Blogger tearful dishwasher said...

Angella-

I think you're dark and broken and fearless, too. I know you are.

8:32 AM  
Blogger tearful dishwasher said...

Elisabeth-

Now there's a dark thought for you.

8:33 AM  
Blogger tearful dishwasher said...

Michelle-

Spazzy grammar is encouraged around this fire. It goes good with beer.

Ha.


yrs-


tearful

8:34 AM  
Blogger Petit fleur said...

That was beautiful.

I don't think of the escape anymore. I feel as though I've surrendered to the situation, and now just try to surround myself with as much beauty as possible and connect with others... because while we are all in our own little boat, we are all floating around the same ocean. Once in a while you can have someone over to your boat or vica versa. That's what I look forward to.

Peace and Happy New Year.
pf

9:07 AM  
Blogger Petit fleur said...

PS I love the portrait. NICE.

9:16 AM  
Blogger tearful dishwasher said...

Hey Petit Fleur-

Thanks for bringing your boat over to mine, its nice to have the company!

9:48 AM  
Anonymous nursemyra said...

I've read that book. It was great. Happy New Year to you xx

2:58 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home