Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Wrestling The Demon of Perception


You don't get to know if you're right about it.

You just have to plunge in.


I think a large part of growing older is learning to make more and more room for uncertainty and doubt. Maybe some folks get increasingly sure of themselves, who they are, what they believe, how the world really is, but for me it's just the opposite.

Everything has become decidedly provisional.

Faced with the mounting evidence of my many errors- of thought, of perception, of action, of inaction, I have a deep appreciation for the fact that I am mostly full of shit. Why keep trying to hide it?

It's not like I'm fooling anybody.

Just myself.


So, let it go. Make peace with my faulty apprehension of the world, my gift for getting people wrong, for  saying the wrong things at the wrong time to the wrong people. Not like making peace with it will prevent further mistakes, but maybe I could manage the aftermath with more grace.

Probably not.

Maybe I'm also wrong in my belief that I am basically a good person. That my motives are pure, or at least not malevolent.

In any case, making room for doubt about these things is probably good. After all, I am already convinced that 100 percent of other people can be, and frequently are, wrong about themselves and much of what they hold to be true about the world.

So, I am probably included in that group, rather than being a remarkable exception.


Like I said, full of shit.


I do wish I was a better person.

I can't help it.


later, gator.



Blogger Lisa Ursu said...

No remarkable exception here, just shit (even my eyes are brown), but I smell okay (at least I hope so).

8:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Understanding that my most cherished beliefs could very well be wrong....
I'm experiencing an identity crisis.
Who am I?

'You just have to plunge in.'
Fantastic image, Dishwasher!!

You always make me think.


10:32 AM  
Blogger St. deVille said...

my love of anthropology sprouted from the fertile idea that we are still animals, beyond reason, often beyond self-reflection.
but, i have held your hand (while tossing you into a roll on the mat) and i think you are a pretty damn good animal, i'd say.

2:45 PM  
Blogger Marylinn Kelly said...

Parallel thoughts, for a posting not yet finished, including the wrestling (in my case, rassling). Certainty shrinks and the mystery expands. I/we are here, with and in, the mystery. I believe we all wish we were better people. Without malicious intent, our greatest crime is fumbling.

11:02 AM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Having pulled out of a tail spin I am now Stronger Than Dirt and will spend the day madly cleaning what has been left to fester in the heat.

Yours in the middle of the night,

2:21 AM  
Anonymous Jamin said...

I've been reading you regularly for more than three years. Tearful D., man. *sigh* whew. Thank you.

Nothing like your art/reflection/paradox-meditation combo on the www far as I've searched, and you. water. canyons.

A question: As soon as I saw your August 3 post I knew I wanted to use the art piece in my class this Fall (Anthropological Linguistics: Ethnography). In fact, I've incorporated it into the webpage banner (will credit you in the course material), and I'm hoping for your retroactive permission to do so. Also, any other info you have on the piece I'd love to know about it.

Here's a link if you wish to view the proposed course website banner:

4:55 PM  
Blogger tearful dishwasher said...


Wow. Three years and I got no idea who you are. You shoulda said hi before.

You are welcome to use the piece, it looks awesome in the website banner.

I'm sorry if this is really late, I never got a notice on this comment.

If you have a blog you want to share, let me know.

10:35 AM  
Blogger Ms. Moon said...

The phrase I probably use most often is, "Who knows? Not me."
The older I get, the less I need to know The Answers. You know why? First off, I'm not sure there are any.
Second, I'm too busy worrying about what to cook for dinner. Etc.
There you go.

7:30 PM  

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