Saturday, January 16, 2010

Hard Lessons


We's all busted up after a visit from the Wild Woman of Borneo. She come in like a tornado, tearing through our little straw house. What she didn't blow down, she trampled and set on fire.

We had to send her on her way.


You got an idea about what's right and wrong. About what you'll do, and what's a bridge too far. But you can just toss those ideas out the window. When it is upon you, you just do what your gut tells you to do.

Your brain's too far away to be of any assistance.

Besides, it don't have no better ideas.


So we sailed on into a full gale and in seconds we'd snapped our rudder, got beam on to the seas, knocked down and rolled, green water rushing in through the hatches and portholes, gear strewn everywhere.

Goin' down fast.


We'll weather it fine. Bail out the bilges, drift for a while. Let the sun dry things out. Let go of what's gone or damaged beyond repair, fix the rest.

How we will deal with throwing a mutinous third mate to the sharks, I can't fathom. But its done so I guess we'll learn that next.

She never looked back. Struck off into the boiling seas toward parts unknown. She'll most likely drown. There's islands scattered here and there, but most are barren and lack what's necessary to survive.

Ah, me.


Learning more daily about my own shortcomings and where I'm stout and sound. I'm not all bad, but I can see that country from here. As can we all, I suppose.


They say it's going to rain hard and not stop for ten days.





Blogger Maggie May said...

i'm sailing the hard seas, too.

3:49 PM  
Blogger tearful dishwasher said...

I saw your post and I'm sending all good thoughts your way, for what good I don't know.

It is a terrible, helpless feeling, to watch your child suffer.

The particulars don't matter. The pain's the same.

I think that as hard-hearted as it is, you still have to be kind to yourself first so that when it is needed you can be there for them. You can't spend yourself utterly.

Nor can you fail to do so.

A clear eye, an honest appraisal, compassion, a sense of humor- these will stand you in good stead.

I get the feeling I'm talking to myself as much as to you.

God bless you, girl. You and your whole family.

You are all destined to thrive. I know it.



3:58 PM  
Blogger Radish King said...

She keeps finding you though. She keeps finding you. She needs to. That is such a small grimy hope I know.

wv: flywar

9:17 AM  
Blogger T. Clear said...

Oh. Oh. Heartbreaking. There's the knife that goes in at the chest and slowly, deliberately rips you open. And it happens no matter what. It just does. Part of being alive, part of being a parent. Part of the horrible pain of being alive and the ability of ones offspring to dump you out in the middle of the freeway during rush hour and just walk away.

The only thing to do is to love, I think.

12:18 PM  
Blogger Maggie May said...

"You can't spend yourself utterly.

Nor can you fail to do so."

that's it exactly.

1:40 PM  
Blogger melissashook said...

I'm sorry.
It's hard.
She might not drown.
Not everyone who tried to drown herself succeeds.

3:22 PM  
Blogger tearful dishwasher said...


Yeah, I know. Not everyone. But plenty do.

It's a hard old life for all of us.

thank you for coming around and shining your light.



5:48 PM  

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