Friday, October 21, 2011

Self at Forty Seven


I think my face is a pretty accurate mirror of my soul. Like Orwell said, at fifty every man has the face he deserves. Not quite there yet, but it's true enough already.


Pretty awesome birthday week. Had range training on wednesday, got up before dawn yesterday and today to serve warrants on some shitholes out in BFE. Yay, shooting! Yay, pointing guns! Yay, predawn raids!


I know, I know.

I should be over that shit already.


I can't help myself, though.


I'm not one of those people who dread growing older. I embrace it. I wouldn't go back if you paid me. The aches and pains and slowing down, the deafness and the ringing in my ears, the sleepless nights, the failing eyes, they're all worth it.

We earn that shit, man.


I got nothing profound to say today. I'm going to get in some meditation and some restorative yoga goodness, and eat dinner with my beautiful and amazing wife, and then lay on the sofa and watch some streaming netflix goodness.

Maybe she'll let me watch one of those PBS Nova shows, or some shit about neanderthals.

Or something about killing.





Blogger Ms. Moon said...

God damn! It's your birthday? This day just keeps getting better and better.
If that's the face you deserve, you been doing good.
Love back at you. And to all of you there, in that little place across the country from me where I raise a glass to the day you were born.
Many more, man. Forty-seven is still a baby. Trust me. But I have a feeling that your face will be even more a mirror of a real good soul when you are my age.
Hope I'm still around to pay witness.
Yours truly...Ms. Moon

3:52 PM  
Blogger St. deVille said...

happy birthday! good thing everything we thought about the humans on our continent was blown to the bone in your honor!


4:48 PM  
Blogger tearful dishwasher said...

Ms. Moon-

thank you! i haven't been called a baby in while now. except by my little brother when he's beating me up in the ring. ha.



6:26 PM  
Blogger tearful dishwasher said...

St. deVille-

I knew that we were here longer than that clovis site indicates! And hunting Mastodons!

What a great birthday gift, thanks!



6:27 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

Happy Birthday, dear Tearful. Happy Birthday to you. You're one year younger than me, and I, too, don't mind getting older. Thank you for saying those things -- one rarely reads them!

Have you tried streaming some "Breaking Bad?" It's my new obsession.

10:17 PM  
Blogger Omgrrrl said...

Namaste dear. Happy birthday.

10:52 PM  
Blogger Petit fleur said...

Happy Natal Day!

I like the portrait. Haunting, yet not unfriendly eyes.

It's true, we do earn that shit.

I hope your dinner was all you wanted it to be and that the rest of your birthday week is rockin.

You deserve it.
Oh PS You and the woman may enjoy a movie called "The Nines" We watched it last night. Compelling.

6:52 AM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Happy birthday my dear friend. It's my father's birthday today. Everything aligned. Pointing guns, predawn raids, shooting, cake. Or shooting cake if you want. You are one of the best celebrators I know. Run with it. You are beautiful and you kick ass. There isn't a better combination out there.


7:08 AM  
Blogger tearful dishwasher said...


Yeah, we are both Breaking Bad addicts. Really disturbing, but great writing and great performances- we love it.

thanks, as always-


7:08 AM  
Blogger tearful dishwasher said...



7:09 AM  
Blogger tearful dishwasher said...


thanks for the movie recommendation, we'll check it out. and thanks for the birthday wishes!



7:10 AM  
Blogger tearful dishwasher said...


I'm glad your dad's birthday and mine are so close, it confirms my suspicion that you and I are somehow entangled in a family that has very loose borders.

I am fiercely proud to claim you as a friend and damn lucky for it.

all best, always,


7:12 AM  
Blogger deirdre said...

Your birthday! Did I miss it then? You're still in the zone and I wish you all sorts of happiness in whatever form you choose, I happen to love the way you celebrate and who you celebrate with, both flesh and digital.
And your face is beautiful. Like you.

all the very best, deirdre xoxo

8:31 AM  
Blogger 37paddington said...

Happy birthday dear Scott. You and my dad share a birth date (and Rebecca's dad, too, I see!).

I love that you are born on the same day as my dad. He was fierce about the law, too, but in a different arena.

he was also fierce about his wife. you october 22 men know how to love.

he was just fierce overall, in the very best way. as you are.

i'm thinking that this world can be magic if we let it.


10:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Scott - happiest of birthdays to you! I'm in Portland getting spoiled on my birthday (52 primo on the 26th!) by family and a friend who turns 57 on Tuesday. We went hiking in the Columbia Gorge then drove back into the city to putter and eat some home-cooked awesome-vegan-hippie food. Thankfully, I'm missing my family up in Bellingham (good thing!). And I'm glad to know you and Yolanda - you both make me want to stay in touch with the artistic side of myself - and your blog makes me relish the spiritual questions that linger underneath the busy-ness of life. Carry on Scott! You are true. As you move through all - I'm rooting for you three/four. cheers and blessings, Mary, Bellingham

8:22 PM  
Blogger tearful dishwasher said...


Aw, shucks.


8:22 AM  
Blogger tearful dishwasher said...


My birthday is the day before your dad's and Rebecca's dad's, but I'm pretty close.

I like the idea of it, it feels more like we are all part of some big, messy, extended family.

Which by god we are.

thank you for everything-


8:23 AM  
Blogger tearful dishwasher said...


So wonderful to hear from you, as always. I know we will get together again, some or all or more of us, for an awesome meal and maybe a long walk on the cliffs overlooking the sea, and best of all, talking and talking and talking.

Happy birthday to you!

all best-


8:25 AM  
Blogger LKD said...

Happy birthday, brother.

We are 47.

I feel about 27. You?

Word verification: waryxo

(how damned wonderful is that? warily, I offer hugs and kisses...that about sums me up)

10:06 AM  
Blogger tearful dishwasher said...


I feel like I've left 27 in the dust, myself. I feel pretty much like I am okay right where I am. I'm looking to the future, ready to get ever older.

Happy belated birthday to you!



10:20 AM  
Blogger Sarcastic Bastard said...

I hope it was a good day. It sounded pretty good to me.

By the way, I envy you your job. My cousin was head of homicide for Dayton, OH (poor guy) for years. He recently retired and is really enjoying it.



8:16 AM  
Anonymous Angie Muresan said...

Here via Ms. Moon. Happiest of birthdays, even if the wish is a little late in coming.

9:54 PM  
Blogger tearful dishwasher said...

Sarcastic Bastard-

Thanks! It was a great birthday.

That's cool about your cousin being chief of homicide. I'm really glad he's enjoying his retirement, I'm sure he earned it. I'm looking forward to mine already!

all best-


6:13 AM  
Blogger tearful dishwasher said...


Isn't Ms. Moon the best? Glad you stumbled by here, hope you find something of value.



6:14 AM  

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