Sunday, May 23, 2010

Anxity and Damnation.


I am not on my last leg.


But I have got a deep silence in me right now.

An abiding one.


This stupid blog has given me, and continues to give me, a great deal of pleasure. I like the folks that come by. I like the company.

For a man who can scarcely tolerate the presence of other human beings, it is a kind of blessing.

And I know my refusal to hold up my end of the bargin is a betrayal.

It is my hope you will forgive it.


Despite my silence, I think of you daily. I think of you, specifically, going about the motions of your day and living and breathing in the heady scent of your own true lives. I am glad of you, the way you hang in there, the way you nurture your courage for the dark hours, the kindnesses you show to those around you who depend on them, and more so to those who don't even know what you do.

It feels sometimes that we have been gathering around fires in the darkness for millions and millions of years, we small few.

We band of oddballs.


Know that I would spend myself in defense of you.

Know that I would exact a mighty cost from those that would harm you.


Know this as well:

There are many, many like me.


I love, though I fail at it.


In the end, love.

Love is all.





Anonymous nursemyra said...

Thanks for posting again..... you've been missed

2:36 PM  
Blogger Maggie May said...

i am glad to hear from you. i was just here earlier hoping all was all right at your homefront. you are a valuable voice here.

2:47 PM  
Blogger Radish King said...

You, my friend, have become one of the godvoices in my head. We talk every day; over the wires, in the currents, across the tide, vibrating through wood through the stinging green vines. Every day.


7:32 PM  
Blogger melissashook said...

I love the image of gathering around the fire.....
you have a burning fire......
sometimes a bit dimmer, perhaps, but what the hell....
you're out there...
and I'm glad about that...
much love...
and many thanks...

isn't it wonderful that the word verification is badism?

4:10 AM  
Blogger Mim said...

You haven't betrayed me, dear Tearful.

Always for you and the fire,

7:16 AM  
Blogger T. said...

Been waiting for this. I thank you.

9:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


6:04 PM  
Blogger CRAFTINISTA said...

your making me cry, man!

4:49 PM  
Blogger deirdre said...

Back at you tearful, all of that. You said it better than I could.
love, d

6:31 AM  

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