Sunday, April 27, 2008

Self in Trial






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Long dry spell, broken.


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Real life is wheeling and wheezing around me like a nightmare merry go round, caliope music grinding away, scary clowns leering from all of the painted ponys.

One of them took my popcorn.


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Thing about this job is that every time I think I'm pretty good at it, think I been around a while and can draw a pretty good bead on most folks, well, I tell you what. I get knocked right down on my butt. 


It's good for me. 


Humble pie.


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I am in trial right now, been going on three weeks and we are maybe half way through. I can't go into detail, but it is a circus and not the main event but that sideshow tent where the two headed calf and the half-snake, half-woman and the rubber man hang out. 

Remember in those old westerns, the shoot-out on horses? One old boy will get shot and fall off, but hang up a boot in the stirrup and get dragged off down the street behind the spooked horse, big cloud of dust behind him?


How I feel.


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But in the midst of it all is a calm center, filled with love and light. I got wife and home and kid and dogs and money in the bank and food in the pantry and my arms and legs and sight and touch and what's left of my sense.


This too, this too.


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You should see the damn backyard right now. 


It done bust out in flowers everywhere.




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Namaste, y'all.



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3 Comments:

Blogger Premium T. said...

Thank you.

10:21 AM  
Blogger Esteban R. Arellano said...

i come here for equilibrium brother
ur words are strong tonic for me
i know u from webdesol/trash/sandlot
& this wonderful blog
that's how i know u
i know u from ur words
here in cyberspace
where we speak from the heart
u have a beautiful spirit brother
so
keep writing
& i'll keep reading

paz
y amor
to u & urs
estewolf

5:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

thanks for that one, having spent a week in the desert at the same location I can relate, you have articulated so much of my own feelings and thoughts, mastering weapons and practicing my art form, when I was a young man my ideal was this; go to Isreal, join the paratroops, live on a farming Kabuzt and study art at the natational university that was it , warrior , farmer , artist
the full experience

I am working on creating that as best i can in my real world today

A Benelli? very nice!

I was surprized that Blade Runner was not on your fav movie list...
thanks,
Dave

7:17 AM  

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