Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Twenty-four Ways of Looking At a Shellfish


This is a detail from a piece I did last year.


I dunno. I thought maybe you'd like to see it.


I like strange. I like things interesting. I get a kick out of oddball shit.


I arrested this guy yesterday, he was full of oddball shit. He wanted to go on and on about it. Me, I wasn't in a mood. I have a sinus infection, a cold, I ain't been sleeping right...I told the guy, "Look, I don't give a shit about your story. I just wanna ask you these six questions and then send you on your fucking WAY..."

He wasn't having nothing of it.


Sometimes, I humor them. I let them vent. It's good for them, it makes it seem like I care, like somebody gives a shit. But yesterday, I just didn't have it in me. The guy was getting pretty bent out of shape, so I caught my partner's eye and he come over, stood behind him. (If there is something better than a partner who's got your back like that, who reads your face and your eyes and does just what's needed and nothing more, well, I don't know what it could be.) So the guy, he just can't process that I don't wanna listen to his shit, even though I fucking tell him and tell him. Finally, he sort of goes "Hey, you don't give a shit about what I want?" and I go, "No, I don't." and he goes, "Well, would you write that down for me, would you put that in writing for me?" and my partner reaches into his pocket, pulls out a pen and his business card, and scribbles down the following:

"I don't give a shit what you want."

And signs it.




It went downhill from there.


In looking back on it, I handled it badly. I didn't feel good and I didn't play him the way I maybe should have. I think I about half wanted him to nut up so I could punch his fucking lights out.

Okay, I really wanted that.

There you have it.


So next time you feel like I'm some kind of sweet, sensitive, poetic, artistic soul all bent on happiness and spiritual creaminess, make a little room for this guy. The kind of guy wants to beat the shit out of a guy just because he's nutty and gets off on threatening his ex-wife and his kids and the judge and me and my fucking partner.




Okay, okay. See, there is something good in me. This guy got my goat, but he's the kind of guy, I swear to god, he'd benefit from a serious ass-stomping. Alright, maybe not him so much, but all the rest of us.

Well, me anyway.


This week a lady got shot to death by her ex-boyfriend. Then her best friend, two days later, she gets smacked by a train. On the same tracks where the guy that killed her friend was arrested.

Something more going on there than we've figured out yet, I'm guessing.


Also, there's unfinished business in my head. There's these two dead women, I swear to god. They won't leave me alone.

I don't know who killed them.

I ain't ever gonna figure it out, is my guess.


It's a strange old world...



Blogger 21k said...

well if you were only spiritual cream then we wouldn't love you as much as we do

standing by while you work through the shit and wonder in your brain & life is just amazing & i would say don't be so hard on yourself but then if you were not you wouldn't be so terrific, i better shut up now

plus i really like your shell piece, the labels are intriguing!

9:34 AM  
Blogger tearful dishwasher said...


thanks. thanks as always.

it is strange and wonderful to know you, to think of you out in the middle or on the far edge of nowhere, living your life with such strength and tenderness, always making more and more room for what is, for what needs to be...

glad to have yr friendship.

11:06 AM  
Blogger LKD said...

Your post set this Nick Lowe song spinning in my head:

"You've got to be cruel to be kind
in the right measure,
cruel to be kind, it's a very good sign, cruel to be kind means
that I love you, baby,
you've got to be cruel to be kind."

The reverse is true too, no?

If you were only sweetness and goodness and light, geez whiz, coach, you'd be a bit of a bore.

There's always gotta be some yin to balance out the yang, right?

You know that song by Chrissy Hynde, "It's a thin line between love and hate"? We say hate complete strangers, but we can only truly hate the people we most love because we know them in all their terrible beauty and ugliness, and the potential for both goodness and not so goodness that is beating inside them as steady as their hearts.

Don't get me wrong. I love your yang. But Scott, it's your yin that makes your art and writing tick.


10:06 PM  
Blogger K said...

I dunno. I thought maybe you'd like to see it.

this made me laugh out loud. and i did want to see it!

1:32 PM  

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