Thursday, October 05, 2006



Range training today.



We had everybody grab their shotguns out of the trunks of their cars and get on line, get their guns up and running to address an active shooter downrange. I think I know what we were all thinking about.


It's a ugly world. These shootings lately, I don't know. How do you stop someone like that? Wants to kill our children. Torture them.

Putting a bullet in them, that doesn't fix it. Well, it fixes one thing I guess. But that's way too late.

Too late.


I got a weird ambivalence about shooting. I'm good at it and I work hard at it. I teach it to others. I want everybody to know how to run their gun and how to do it without thinking. How to get good hits, move to cover, shoot and move, do their tactical reloads, fix jams and stovepipes and double-feeds without even blinking.

I want all my people to live.

And, really, if we're shooting at you, you pretty much need to be shot.

But I don't for one second look at it like I'm putting little holes in paper targets, or knocking down steel plates again and again.

I know what I'm doing it for.


I think about it. See it for what it is.


The other day my wife tells me I need to seriously reexamine my ideas about manhood.

I don't know what she's talking about.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

she wouldn't be a woman if she didn't think that. on a side note, just curious if your swat people have adopted the kimber custom II .45? sounds like a really terrific version of the 1911. sorry, don't mean to turn your blog into a gun mag haha.

10:31 AM  
Blogger deirdre said...

well okay i'm glad you're out there taking care of business because someone needs to protect our children even if it is after the fact sometimes, and i'm glad i'm not your wife because that would be so frightening & i think that she said that not because she is a woman but because she is your wife and she wants you alive, innocent untouched - why am i putting words in her mouth? i can't i won't
but i did smile at that exhange you shared and i'm glad you're practising just so you don't make mistakes and if you're gonna do it, be as good as you can be
i think i have pretty parochial notions of manhood
it comes w/ the valley

5:04 PM  
Blogger tearful dishwasher said...


Everybody chooses their own handgun in our department. The Kimber is a sweet one, though. Mostly guys carry the Glock, although I always liked my Heckler and Koch USP .45 for entry work. Sig Sauer is also popular, and another of my favorites. The Kimber is kind of expensive for most of us, though.

I think that 1911 frame has the best hand-feel of any weapon ever made. And the nice, slow, rolling recoil of the .45 is a blessing. Makes reacquiring the sights on the second round really, really smooth.


God bless you. And God bless my long-suffering wife. I know if I was a woman married to someone like me I'd go plain nuts.

But there is an integrity to living in alignment with a million years of gender-specific conditioning that I really relish.

I was watching this terrible movie the other night, with Val Kilmer playing a USMC drill instructor. He said this shit that just made me about weep:

"Thank you God, for making me a man."

Sometimes you just want to drop to your knees in gratitude for it. Not because you don't want to be a woman, but because you so deeply love the specific requirements of being a man.

Wow. I'ma shut up now.



7:49 PM  

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