Elizabeth's Dream
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We went down in the rain to see the Wild Woman of Borneo and she has made that place her bitch. She reigns over her minions, the staff is always coming over and holding her hand, patting her head, older addicts come up and tell us they are watching over her, don't worry, don't worry- and she knows it is all her due.
She is beautiful and glowing and frightened like horses get frightened but she won't show it, not to anyone, not ever.
She throws off sparks. She's like the man in the planet at the end of Eraserhead. Disfigured, burned, pulling the levers that move the world.
She is glad to see us.
That is a thing I would have cut out my liver to have happen, and it's mine for free.
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I know there are worse places, and sadder, more broken people, and more loss, and more anguish, and more guilt and blame and horror and terror and meanness and vile hatred and orneryness in the world, but that place will do until real trouble gets here.
Our troubles are but small, and we have experienced the tenderness of mercy more often than we've a right to expect or to ask for.
Again and again we are spared the worst.
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Today we polished the dog in preparation for Thanksgiving. The hedge got trimmed and I did not lose any fingers or even parts of fingers. The garden got weeded and raked and cleaned and it sparkles like a new dime.
I took the dog out to Lone Palm and walked the low cliffs over the dark sea and there was a cold wind blowing hard from the sea and dark clouds and rain spitting and from the sea, arching over the low flatlands and pinning the foothills rose a vivid, pulsing double rainbow ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE SKY!!!
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I did some art and the woman is lying on the sofa watching a Japanese horror flick and I better figure out what the fuck I'm cooking her so she doesn't up and leave my ass.
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I am blessed beyond all measure.
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Namaste.
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posted by tearful dishwasher at 4:13 PM
11 Comments:
I'm glad she was happy to see you. I suspect she always is.
What a loneliness this piece invokes, but she is she is angry, too, and she means to fight, to make us pay. The water rising around her ankles will not engulf her. Where she is broken she is most dangerous. That's the story she tells me. I want to put my arms around her.
This knocked me to my knees. I don't even have the words except to say that I am so glad for all of it.
Sounds like a good day.
Peace, and happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.
pf
Love the artwork. It's cuts to the core.
That is how I've often felt. 'again and again we are spared the worst'- although my experiences may be the worst for others, especially of childhood, for me, they were not...i am too aware of what is happening every day to others, all over this planet. i'm so glad to hear the news of your girl. i get it, i get it, i get it.
xo
Your posts mesmerize me. Thank you because god knows I need to be mesmerized.
Yes.
Namaste
I agree full-throttle with the wondrous Maggie Mae. I find myself alternately being thankful for being passed over and ruining the passover by worrying when it will descend upon me.
Very glad you all had a good day--I'm trusting you DID get the dinner done and were not left in a lurch by the wife. I'm sure she's on the verge any second. Watch yourself! haha
The rainbow videomaker was hilarious! I hope you were half as excited....funny comments on't.
and i expect after the polishing, you gave her the drying off.
to make up for everything.
Each day the mysterious hole is not drilled from beneath to let all the good run out, I am thankful. And your daughter was glad to see you. Seeing what I take to be doom creeping up the walls in your photo tells me we haven't exactly pinned eternal sunshine to the mat - yet.
I had to come and read this again and one more time. And mebbe another after that.
xo
That double rainbow guy always cracks me up
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