Thursday, September 15, 2005

Burned

Not enough sleep, too much work. Not a poetic thought in my head or an artistic bone in my body. All I want to do is eat ice cream and drink vodka and go to sleep for a week. I've been doing too many things that should have gotten me killed, too many stupid and dangerous things that I knew while I was doing them "Well, this is a bad fucking idea..." but did them anyway. And got away with it.

Better to be lucky than good, I always say.

I miss poetry. I miss my art. I miss having a functioning brain. I'm tired of meth freaks and stolen property and pre-dawn raids and adrenaline fueled jitter binges.

But this is what I live for. The joy is in the contrast, the movement between these two extremes...


I'm thinking of you all, all the time. My invisible and scattered family.

I pray you are all well.

3 Comments:

Blogger djuana said...

Greetings dear Scott -

Ahhhhhhhhhh - your job, the way it's a part of you that can't be denied, & yet, & yet... I guess at times it takes over, eh? The adrenalin. I've been coming around a fair bit, not commenting but reading & taking long looks at the collages. Great stuff, such an interesting blog - hang in there, & here's hoping you find time to chill out a bit, to flex those artistic muscles of yours, for your own benefit & for everyone else's...

xodj

9:48 AM  
Blogger jim said...

Scott,

well I'm hanging in there. too much gin. not enough poetry.

tonight, we're going to a local Greek Festival. Great food and music and dancing. it's things like this that help me get through the other stuff.

and the kids

11:31 AM  
Blogger tearful dishwasher said...

Djuana & Jim-

Thanks for responding with your thoughts...The obvious drawback of this blogging world is that there is no longer a central clearing house where we can all keep in touch. My feeling is that sandbox, at least for now, is the venue only for paul and levi, and isn't the community refuge it once was for me.

Anyway, I'm grateful that you take the time to stop by and drop a note from time to time to say hello.

Thanks again.


Scott

5:48 PM  

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