Wednesday, March 23, 2011

At The Last Ditch Attempt Saloon


"Ah, there's nothing wrong with her that a hundred dollars won't fix."

Tom Waits
9th & Hennepin


Today I stood around in the pouring rain doing a neighborhood canvas on a crime a week old because, well, because the FBI was involved, I think.

I'd thought I'd left that kind of detail behind ten years ago.


My little gay thin leather dress shoes didn't stand up to it too well.


Then there was interviewing all the folks at the old folks home, asking them did they see or hear anything unusual in the middle of the night about a week ago?

I could write a goddamn book on that alone.


If there is anything sadder or more beautiful than this life I don't want to know about it.


I fucking mean it.


I don't know how to feel about anything. Standing around in my suit, soaked to the skin, listening to a demented old lady who smelled like pee, pretending to write shit down, I felt like I wanted to kill everyone I'd ever known. Not that I was mad, not that at all.

I just wanted to spare us all.


I don't know if you've noticed, but they are killing the everloving fuck out of cops this year.

I get up early every morning and work my pistol craft because, well, if you want to kill me? You better bring your A game.

I will goddam run you over if you don't.


I don't need another drink, but I'm going to have it anyway.





Blogger Mim said...

Have I noticed?! Yes!

7:54 PM  
Blogger tearful dishwasher said...


I know that you have. Down there where you are it has been just unbelievable.



8:19 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

Like the great Wallace Stevens said, "The world is ugly and the people are sad."

I love that line and I don't find it depressing in the least.

And I do hope and pray that you are not challenged accidentally or otherwise.

10:26 PM  
Blogger 37paddington said...

Rough day. I'm sorry. Hard as it is, none of us need sparing from a life where you are. But the old people, now they can make a grown woman cry. Seems like there should be some reward at the end of the race, something more than smelling like pee. I don't have a lot of comfort to offer but I am grateful you do what you do. It's late, but here we are. Full of sadness and love.

11:53 PM  
Blogger susan t. landry said...

when i get carried off to the old folks home, cursing like the foul-mouthed hag i'll no doubt be, i sure hope you come round to interview me and that angella comes by and visits. but don't make me laugh too hard...
or, maybe, dishwasher, you could just come round with some fish taos, and then shoot me if they cart me off to the senior cit digs?

cops get a whole lot of pain and disrespect, until you need them.

7:57 AM  
Blogger deirdre said...

Practise on, all of it. Your art, your words, your pistol craft. If we could we'd weave a spell around you, perhaps we can.

You are loved like mad. That should count for some kind of safety net.

It's good to know you are in the world.

12:11 PM  
Blogger Petit fleur said...

I did hear about the record number of law enforcement being killed this past year. It is bad here in FL where we are. The NRA are a bunch of insane people down here, which doesn't help at all.

I'll have one with ya. Bottom's up. Also, I'm sending wishes for your continued safety...

1:07 PM  
Blogger tearful dishwasher said...


Wallace Stevens. I love that man.

And he's right, and you're right too.



7:02 PM  
Blogger tearful dishwasher said...


I didn't intend that post to be so self-pitying, but there it is. The truth leaks out.


Anyway, glad as always for your tender support and good wishes.

you are one of the good ones, never doubt it.

7:04 PM  
Blogger tearful dishwasher said...


I'll feed you the most excellent fish tacos, and after that, you won't feel a thing.

Just kidding.

Would be a nice way to go, though.

I can't stand that we're all going to die. It seems like such a waste. Especially me dying. That seems really terrible.



7:05 PM  
Blogger tearful dishwasher said...


I can't believe the love I get around here! I don't deserve it, but maybe I do.

If you think I deserve it that means you have to accept it back.



7:06 PM  
Blogger tearful dishwasher said...


drinks all around!!

7:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i like old people.

4:21 PM  

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